


The Puffskein Catastrophe.

by cutenewt, QuinoaGoldstein



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Adorable Newt Scamander, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Newt Scamander, Cinnamon Roll Newt Scamander, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Funny, Humor, Jacob just wants some pastries tbh, Living in Newt Scamander's Suitcase, Newt Scamander Being an Idiot, Newt Scamander is a Dork, Newt is an actual idiot, Oblivious Newt Scamander, Protective Newt Scamander, Protective Queenie Goldstein, Protective Tina Goldstein, Queenie saves the day, Sad and Happy, Tina needs a hug and five vodkas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 12:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15818982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutenewt/pseuds/cutenewt, https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuinoaGoldstein/pseuds/QuinoaGoldstein
Summary: The time that Newt brought back a mysterious egg, but when it hatched neither Tina or Queenie were introduced to the creature. Then they found out the extremely devastating (for Newt, anyway) discovery that he had made… having an allergy to Puffskeins is apparently a thing. And, he is determined to prove Tina wrong.





	The Puffskein Catastrophe.

The Goldstein sisters sit at the table, having finished clearing up for lunch. They’re sat in silence, hands propping up their chins as they simultaneously sigh. “So, Teenie… do y’think Newt is out of the case yet? He’s keepin’ awful quiet.” Queenie pouts, eyeing her sister curiously to see if she holds any kind of insight as to why.

 

Instead though, the brunette shrugs nonchalantly. “How should I know?” She mumbles, avoiding her sister’s watchful gaze.

 

“Oh, no reason.“

 

“I do  _ not _ spend more time with him than you do!” Tina retaliates a little too quickly, and her sister smirks.

 

They fall into silence again, and the elder sibling gets to her feet. “I’m going to see what he’s up to.” She announces, leaving the room and blocking out whatever comment that Queenie might be making about her so-called ‘special liking’ towards Newt.

 

At first she knocks on the door, but when they’re no answer the witch goes inside of the spare room. She has a quick look around, spotting his case centre floor. Tina knocks against it, once again receiving no reply back. With a disgruntled huff, she unlatches it and peeks inside. “Newt?” She calls, not able to see well enough to make out whether or not he’s inside.

 

So, in order to find out she begins to climb down. “Newt, what’re you doing? Why didn’t you answer me?” Tina questions, a little annoyance amidst her tone.

 

He keeps on staring down at whatever he’s trying to mix in a small sized cauldron. His shirt sleeves are rolled up and that’s when she notices that his skin is reddened with scratch marks. “What happened?” Worry quickly engulfs her, as she steps closer to him.

 

“Oh, this?” Newt looks down at his arm. “Nothing,” he mutters.

 

“Newt? Is your new creature okay? You said she’d hatched five days back,” Tina continues, watching him scratch at his arm then continue to stir the cauldron.

 

He nods. “She’s doing wonderful, thank you.”

 

“Stop scratching! What happened to you?!” Tina folds her arms over her chest and stares him down until he side glances at her.

 

Newt clears his throat. “I — I’m not sure… it’s fine though, I’m fine.” He reiterates, loosening his shirt collar for a moment or two. “I’m fine.”

 

The witch looks at him skeptically, raising her eyebrows. “It bit you, didn’t it?”

 

“What? No. Puffskeins don’t have teeth.”

 

“Well… then it scratched you! You didn’t gain any more dragons, did you? Newt?” Tina narrows her eyes at him. “Show me your new creature.” She instructs, and it really isn’t a request.

 

As if on cue at the mention of her favourite beasts, Queenie appears. “Did someone say dragons?!” The blonde squeals with glee, already halfway down the ladder.

 

“Sorry, Queenie. No more dragons in the suitcase…” He glances at her, a playful smile just about showing. “Not at the moment, anyway.”

 

Then, the witch does what she does best. Queenie eyes him suspiciously. “You okay, Newt, honey?” She questions, stepping closer. “You’re not sick are you?” She pouts, already thinking up what ingredients she’d need for some Pepperup.

 

“No! I’m fine.” He huffs, giving his potion one last stir. “Alright, let’s go and see the Puffskein. She still hasn’t got a name, actually.” He muses.

 

So, the sisters follow Newt outside. Tina is still convinced that he has been bitten by this mystery newborn, whereas Queenie’s eyes twinkle with glee from the thoughts of what names she may call this sweet little thing. They stop a few metres outside of the shed, standing in front of a nest that looks to be filled with a ball of pink fluff.

 

“Where is it?” Queenie frowns, an adorable look of confusion worn across her features.

 

As Newt gestures to the fluffy nest, a face pops out of it with a squeak. Tina lets out a yell of alarm.

 

“Tina, meet Winnifred.”

 

Queenie stops cooing over the creature to pull a face. “ _ Winnifred _ ? Newt, honey. No.”

 

“Why on earth-” Newt’s interrupted by his own sneeze. “Why on earth not?”

 

“She looks more like a Peaches.”

 

Tina, meanwhile, is examining the fluffy beast’s snout. “Where are your teeth? _ Where are your teeth? _ ”

She squints at Newt. Newt squints back, unable to shake the feeling he’s about to be interrogated. And, to answer her question, bares his teeth.

“Not you, Newton!” Tina huffs.

 

“Right, I knew that.” He did not. Time for a subject change. “If we’re not calling her Winnifred, what about… Porps?”

 

Tina is squinting as hard as a human can possibly squint whilst holding a puffskein. Meanwhile from the other side of the suitcase, a bang and crash can be heard, followed by a yell of “I almost dropped my croissant!” - Jacob’s clearly arrived.

 

A moment later he walks out of the shed, looking around for the trio and spotting them after a few seconds. “I bring baked good… what is going on?!” Jacob trails towards confusion, staring at the fluffy pink situation before him. Then his eyes widen as he gets a better look at the creature in Tina’s arms, and he gasps happily. “Is that a Puffskein?!”

 

Newt nods, looking like a proud mother. “How did you know that?”

 

“I read… wizard… things,” Jacob replies, placing his basket of said ‘baked goods’ down onto the floor. “Can I hold the Puffskein?” He then asks, turning to Queenie to smile at her.

 

“Not yet,” Tina warns defensively. “I’m looking for her teeth.”

 

Jacob laughs. “Well, you won’t find any… Puffskeins don’t have teeth. Do you, little...” Jacob begins to coo at the creature and tickle underneath its chin, whilst Tina frowns down upon him.

 

“Fine, take her.” She huffs.

 

Tina steps towards Newt, about to confront him about what on Earth is going on, when something runs in front of her. Then, she realises that it’s two chickens. Yes,  _ chickens _ . “Newt… what?” She exhales heavily, watching as the two feathery creatures start pecking at the baked goods in the basket.

 

“Hey! Oh my god… chickens!” Jacob exclaims, looking over Queenie who’s face is a picture.

 

She squeals happily. “This is the best day ever!” Her hands clasp together, and she goes over to the little birds. “Newt, when did you buy chickens?”

 

“Um… I don’t want to talk about that.”

 

Queenie squints at him, and then starts to giggle. “You drunk bought two chickens?!” Her eyes light up, and Tina just face palms.

 

“What is this day?” Her sister mutters, shaking her head.

 

Newt sighs heavily. “I was just supposed to have a calm day, pick up my unicorn and — oh, Merlin’s Beard! What is the time?” He exclaims suddenly, making Tina jump.

 

He removes his pocket watch, glancing at the screen. “Ah, one hour. Good,” the wizard mutters to himself, whilst both Jacob and Tina are staring at him incredulously.

 

“Unicorn?!” Queenie yells, her voice ten octaves higher than normal. “I love this day,” she sighs happily.

 

Jacob turns to her, grinning. “Did you know that the baby ones are golden?!” He questions enthusiastically.

 

The blonde faces Newt. “Are you getting a baby one?!” She squeals.

 

Pickett peeks out of his tree’s pocket, looking around. “Well, yes actually… he was separated from his mother and needs nurturing.” Newt explains before letting out a tremendous sneeze. Little does he notice the bowtruckle plummeting down into the basket of pastries.

“MAN OVERBOARD!” Jacob suddenly roars, startling the puffskein out of his arms. Tina bursts into tears.

“Teenie!” Queenie exclaims, alarmed as she scans through Tina’s mind to find what’s wrong. Her face falls, and suddenly she pulls Tina away from the others.

Newt and Jacob stare at eachother for a moment, none the wiser before Jacob speaks. “I have no idea what just happened.” 

Newt meanwhile is watching the sisters.

“HE’S GOING TO DIE?!” Tina yells. Newt feels like he may be having a small heart attack before Queenie speaks.

“I said he’s  _ not _ going to die, honey!”

Jacob shakes his head in exasperation. “C’mon, guys, ain’t it obvious? He’s allergic to the puffskein.” 

Tina turns back to Newt, her face a strange mixture of relief, crying and more squinting. “”Newt… You’ve got to get rid of her.”

Newt suddenly picks Winnifred or Peaches up from the floor and holds her close. “No!”

“Newton,” Tina steps forward. “Give me the puffskein.”

“Never.” And he disapparates.

A tree a few metres away rustles as though a man and puffskein have just apparated into it. “They’ll never find us here, Winnifred.”

 

While Jacob and Queenie watch in amazement, Tina marches over to the tree with a huff. “Newton!”

Newt leans over to Winnifred. “Shhh.” He whispers.

 

“ _ Newton,  _ I know you’re in there!”

 

“No I’m not!” Newt retorts.

 

Tina rolls her eyes. “So I suppose this is a rare breed of talking tree?”

 

“Merlin’s beard, I have one of those? I mean, Newt has one of those! I mean, I am one of those! ...Look, Tina, the chickens!”

 

Tina looks down at the chickens. One of them’s carrying a cupcake with something leafy in it…

“Pickett!” Tina makes an unsuccessful dive for the chicken. “Newt, get down here!”

 

Newt looks shifty. “Yes… about that.”

 

“Again?! Damn it Newton!” And thus she gets to her feet and runs after the bird.

 

Jacob, meanwhile, starts shaking the tree. “It’s not so high up, can’t you jump?”

 

A moment later Queenie appears, arriving on scene to restore all sanity. She accios the chicken, and carefully gets Pickett from its beak. “You got chocolate frosting all over you!” She gasps, wiping him with a laced hanky. Then, she looks up into the tree and shakes her head. With a wave of her wand, Queenie levitates the Puffskein down to the floor and hands her to Jacob.

 

“Take her back to the nest, and go upstairs. Change clothes and put the kettle on.” She instructs.

 

Then she looks up at Newt, who is holding on and looking more than a little sheepish. “Are you comin’ down, honey? We gotta find a way to fix you up.”

 

“Well, I — um…”

 

Queenie shakes her head. “Apparate down here, but be careful… no, no. I’m bringing you down.” She waves her wand again, levitating him down as he yelps with fear. When he’s back on solid ground he looks at Tina with extreme guilt across his face.

 

“Okay, Teenie?”

 

“Perfectly not, but it’s fine.” Her sister grumbles.

 

The blonde nods her head. “Go up and get changed, I’ll be up in a while. I’m going to sort out Mr. Scamander and maybe hit him for upsetting you.” Her voice stays sweet throughout the whole sentence, so much so that Newt almost misses her threat.

 

Tina doesn’t even speak, but just turns on her heel and traipses back to the case. Newt then turns to Queenie. “Please… please don’t hit me,” he stammers.

 

She tugs his arm and leads him back to the shed. After making sure Tina is out of the way, Queenie directs him inside and plonks him onto a chair. She puts her hands on her hips and sighs. “Episkey!” The witch exclaims, waving her wand over his scratch aligned arms.

 

“Now, I don’t think there’s no allergy spell… so, you’re going to have to suffer.”

 

“Oh,” Newt mutters. “I suppose I deserve that.”

 

Queenie narrows her eyes. “Now, if you tell Teenie that I told you this I really  _ will _ hit you. Hard.” She adds. “But, she thought you were real sick like… like when our parents got sick.” The shed goes silent, and Newt swallows.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

 

The blonde pushes some hair out of his eyes. “You just love your creatures too much. Now…” she spins on the heel of her shoe, and starts looking for something. “Oh… I touched the Puffskein too!” Queenie exclaims, more to herself than anyone else. “You also need to change. Right, we’re going upstairs and you are showering any last little piece of fluff away.”

 

Newt is too scared to disagree. They make their way back into the bedroom, and Queenie hands him new clothes. Without giving him a choice, she gently pushes him into the bathroom and stands outside the whole entire time (saving a few minutes to change into another dress.)

 

When he exits again, Queenie takes his hand and leads him to his bed. “Stay.” She snaps.

 

“I… I will.” Newt agrees.

 

The Goldstein sister waltzes out of the room, leaving him alone. When the door opens again, he jumps in slight fear that she’s returning with some sort of weapon. But, it’s Tina. “What did she say to you? You look petrified,” Tina scoffs in amusement, slightly enjoying his discomfort after the stress he’d caused her.

 

“I — uh… I’m… she’s scary,” Newt answers, hugging his knees to his chest.

 

Tina smirks. “Never get on Queenie’s bad side, Scamander.”

 

“Noted.”

 

She then takes something out of her pocket, revealing Pickett atop of her palm. “He seems to be squeaking a lot. I think you made him mad,”

 

“Oh, Lord. Not you too,” Newt exhales, taking the Bowtruckle and putting him safely back where he belongs. “I’m sorry, Pick! At least you landed in a cupcake… I know that doesn’t make it any better, but I didn’t mean it.”

 

Tina shakes her head. “Queenie is returning, but not to kill you I swear.” She then informs him, and his eyes dart towards the now creaking door.

 

When the younger sister enters, she’s carrying a tray. Jacob is peeking over her shoulder, just ensuring that Newt is in fact in one piece. “Hold this on your eyes, honey.” She says, handing him a cold cloth, acting like she hadn’t just threatened him five minutes before this.

 

Tina watches whilst trying not to laugh at the terror written across his features. The blonde also gives him a glass of water, and a box of tissues that have little hearts all over them. Newt blushes. “Teenie, look after Newt… Newt, look after Teenie. Okay?” They both nod. “Me and Jacob are gonna pick up your unicorn!” She grins gleefully.

 

And, he has no choice but to give her instructions on where to go. As the front door clicks shut, Newt sinks underneath the covers, a sulky look falling over him. “Oh, c’mon. It isn’t that bad. The unicorn will still be here soon!” Tina tries to comfort him.

 

“It is that bad! I ruined everything and I made you cry and now I can’t cuddle with my Puffskein!” Newt blurts out, and face palms the pillow. “I’m so sorry I made you cry, Tina.” His voice shrinks to barely a whisper.

 

She stands up and goes to sit beside him. “I guess we can kinda laugh about it now, huh?” Tina half manages a chuckle.

 

He removes his face from the pillow, due to realising that it’s actually quite hard to breathe that way. “Maybe… Maybe Winnifred is missing me down there,” Newt muses, staring at his arms and beginning to scratch.

 

Tina bats his hand away. “Ow!” Newt exclaims. “What is it with you two sisters?!”

 

She closes her eyes. “You’re staying here. That’s it. No questions.”

 

“But —“

 

“Queenie will find a home for Winnifred,”

 

Newt looks like his heart just broke into two. “You mean… I can’t keep her?”

 

“What did you think we were gonna do?” The elder sister asks, feeling upset for him but also mind blown that he thought he was actually going to keep the damn creature in his case.

 

He folds his arms. “Well, I could just, um… maybe… Queenie could care for her for me.”

 

“Newt, it’s not gonna work.”

 

“I can prove it!” He exclaims, jumping up and going to leave the bed. The case is stood up beside the door, but Tina grabs his hand before he can make a run for it.

 

They both stand in silence for a moment. “Don’t make me squint at you, Newton.” She warns.

 

Newt slowly backs away, and snuggles back under the covers again. He closes his eyes and faces the wall. “Fine,” he grumbles.

 

“I’m sorry, Newt… I promise we will find the best home. Well, second best to having you as a Mom,” Tina manages a smile, and even he can’t hide one. “Promise me you won’t go back down there?”

 

There’s no reply.

 

“Newt, I know you’re awake.” Tina rolls her eyes.

 

“No I’m not!” He retorts. “Oh…”

 

The witch shakes her head for probably the fiftieth time in the past damn hour. “Promise?” Tina says quietly.

 

Newt sneezes instead.

 

Tina face palms. “Just… go to sleep.”

 

~

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you loved reading this entertaining ficlet that had a dash of angst and sadness. I love doing writing with Ella for the first time and we have a few more ideas lined up and already in the works!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


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